The feeling/thing that stops you from doing something. I’ve been thinking recently on past behaviours and it brought out interesting findings to the surface of my consciousness. Fear is the thing that stops me making the drop on a wave I know I want to go for. Fear is the thing telling me I will nosedive/fall off/stack it/hurt myself. But what is the fear actually achieving? It stops me from progressing. I fully know that with patience and practice I can improve. From the age of seven I went to Gymnastics. As a little girl I would sit, enchanted by the acrobats on TV. I thought it looked ‘easy’ and joined a club, that’s when I discovered it was anything but. I went every week, and slowly but surely I improved. I did moves I never thought I would be able to, back flips, handstands on shoulders and the splits. Yet when it got tougher and I became frustrated, I left. I had fear. Giving up gymnastics is a massive regret of mine. But I just didn’t think I would ever be good enough.
I am itching to get out into the sea and try and push past the mental block of fear. I’ve traveled the world to amazing surf destinations and let waves be snaked or felt shame if I pulled out of one, the shame is on myself. It’s an irrational fear, if I don’t ever take the bigger/faster/steeper waves how will I know what they feel like or if I can do it? So still I am stuck in a cycle of being in my comfort zone. I love nothing more than going surfing, why do I let the fear take the limelight?